The Life They've Set For Me to Live

Life can be frustrating. Society, especially when you're young, tries to dictate your path in life as a very narrow road that must be taken at maximum speed and best possible precision. "When you graduate, you must become an adult immediately and get an education and then a job and then become successful. It wouldn't be politically correct anymore to tell you that you should also have a big happy family at the same time, but when you get there you'll naturally want to do so, everybody does. And you must choose a sensible profession that benefits society and makes you lots of money otherwise you will be a homeless loser bum who will never be happy."

Sometimes, it makes me want to just run away from it all. Maybe the homeless loser bums are happier for not having the worries of normal, employed, home-owning people. They don't have to struggle with getting enough money to fund their ridiculously expensive education. They've made their peace with simply not having any money. Of course, living on the street is in no way a pleasant experience.

But, honestly, graduation is already starting to terrify me (it's just the second weekend!!!!). I've always had school in my life, I have no experience living in a world where my purpose isn't going to school. After this year, my purpose will have to be being able to go to school, and after that it will be slaving to scrape together a living. And by a living I mean maybe lunch money. (I want to be a writer or actor. I mean come on.)

But I really do sometimes want to just abandon all that thinking and make my own success somehow. This is why I wish with a burning passion that I could be a professional vlogger on YouTube or be on webshows or be a successful blogger (hahaHAHAAA...ha). I wish I could just do something I love passionately as a career. But the thing about all three of those crazy dreams is that it takes a lot of time to build up a reputation or break out. Time which I already have limited amounts of, and will have even less once I graduate and have to go out in life.

That, actually is one of the many reasons I started this blog. Because maybe, just maybe, I could someday establish a sort of online presence and through that possibly attain opportunities to do things I love more often and more conveniently or realistically. For now, this is just a casual thing that benefits no one but myself, but maybe at some point my blog could turn into something more. And so that's why I'm going to try to create as good a level of content as I can. At this point, of course, it's moot, because I have virtually no readers, and the kind of things I want to do are really meant for a larger audience, but, you know, someday. Maybe. For now, it's fun to pretend.

This blog post had no real purpose, structure or focus. My inner rigorously trained essay writer is dying a slow and painful death. Maybe in the future I should actually get my thoughts straightened out and the write the post all in one go. Ha. I crack myself up.

But today, it's time to hang out with my best friend! (and only reader...) We have loads of shenanigans planned intended, and some of those are bloggable! So there might be some pictures later on... although I'm not sure of what. Probably baking.