Arson

I have a problem.

It's called confrontation.

Mostly, it presents itself when somebody asks me something about myself that I haven't actively determined yet.

"What's your favourite book? Favourite movie? What's the nicest place you've visited?"

And suddenly I blank. I am an illiterate bookstore worker who's never even seen a video and who has never left her house. I literally have no recollection of any book, movie or place I've ever experienced. Actually.

And in situations like that, I can mostly blow it off as, "Oh, you know, there are still so many books I want to read, as a bookstore worker it's really hard because you'll never have enough time... Oh, I just like movies in general, I quite liked [most recently released movie title]... Well, I've really been all over the place..."

Applications? Not so easy to do that.

I don't think I've ever known a phrase so horrible and terrifying as DESCRIBE YOURSELF TO THE COMMITTEE. That's a terrible question. I hate the committee. I do not want the committee to know me. The committee can't HANDLE the truth. Fight the man.

Of course, not only do I have to talk about myself (ugh), I have to make myself sound fancy (double ugh) and good (not possible. Also, ugh). Quite a few scholarships hang on this.

Arson is sounding like a really nice option.

No seriously, on top of all this, they want me to "include a description of your passions and motivations and explain how they relate to your educational plans and goals."

Kill me.

"I am        um           ...       ...uh.

I can't even come up with a mock/informal/joke description of myself. I literally cannot talk about myself. I can maybe force myself to talk about my experiences, something very, very specific about myself or put a lot of myself into a character. But describing myself or talking about myself is actually not possible. I simply don't know how.

I was hoping that writing would get... I don't know, something rolling. But no such luck.